DirkWeek 2016
by Darkest Fire
Summary: for dirkweek 2016. Crossposted on my tumblr and AO3. A whole week dedicated to DiStri is marvellous, and I hope these drabbles have only a smidge of that.
1. The Rising (canon moment)

Just another assassination attempt. His purple Derse pyjamas were saturated in Hegemonic Brute's blood and he surveyed his room. Everything was a deep purple, Cal sat at the table like the rad guardian he is and the decapitated Hegemonic Brute lay on his floor. He slipped off his shades.

Dirk took a quick glance out of his window, tangerine eyes passing over the towers and into the dark skies. Spying Jake happily battling Brobot, Dirk concluded that the sky held nothing for him and was determined to show how the Batterwitch wouldn't get away with this.

They had to know now that the prince is awake. He took the poster that depicted the corpse of Dreamer-Jane and scooped the head of the brute under one arm. Then he flew. Slowly, casually but with intensity and meaning. Carapaces collected under him, swarming down the purple streets in droves. Paying them no mind but a cursory glance, Dirk scanned the area for something that would help him make an impression.

An impression of ' _Don't fuck with me_ '.

Face as impassive as always, Dirk and the head of Hegemonic Brute leisurely made their way to one of Derse's banners. Black Carapaces watched him as he tossed the banner up into the air.

A blur was seen and the purple fabric fluttered to the ground. His unbreakable katana was once again in his sylladex and the makeshift spear was clasped in Dirk's hand.

He and the crowds of curious carapaces continued forward. Onwards towards the middle of Derse and the obelisk in the middle of the courtyard.

More and more citizens followed Dirk over the bridge and they watched as he stabbed the banner pole on top of the obelisk. Then he impaled the head onto the banner, carapaces still watching and Dirk growing increasingly more aware of the lack of time he had to do this.

Then he wrote out a note on the underside of the poster and pierced it, Jane-up, onto the pole.

Pyjama clad and anime eyed, Dirk Strider flew away.

Below him, scrawled in trademark orange text was,

'The Prince is awake

Your shit is wrecked'


	2. The Dancing Prince (happy Dirk)

**For the second day of dirkweek, happy Dirk.**

Dirk placed his screwdriver on the workbench next to his shades and surveyed his creation. The shell of the drone he was making for John's birthday was finally complete. He'd gotten to know the Beta kids and trolls after the game ended and Dave had forced him to spend time with John; Dirk had decided he was alright, despite his dismal taste in movies. John was always going on about how he wanted a way to see the salamanders in their natural habitat in the woods and this seemed a pretty good way.

Coming from the living room he shared with Jake, Roxy and Jane, the faint thrum of music began, he recognised the stereo was playing a mix of the girl's favourite dance music. His lips twisted into a small smile as laughter was heard.

He turned his back on the drone and went to collect some of the components that needed soldering, his head bobbing to the music. He brought them back to the workbench and turned on the soldering iron, planning on twisting the wires together until the music got louder. His hips started swaying to the steady beat. Nimble fingers rolled copper together to make a circuit from the battery to the camera.

And then Dirk began to dance. He turned and bobbed, a smile on his lips and music in his ears. A thump was heard and he turned only to hear Roxy shout,

"I'm okay!" while giggling uncontrollably. She'd probably tripped or knocked into something. Dirk looked at his worked bench and was about to solder the circuit together when the door was cracked open, music almost deafening him.

Jake stood there, grinning and barefoot. His cheeks were flushed and his hair more of a mess than usual.

"Strider, the girls would like to know if you want to join us," Dirk turned to turn off the hot equipment as Jake rambled on, getting more and more flustered. He privately decided it was rather cute.

Laughing slightly, he led Jake to the others by the wrist.

Roxy and Jane cheered when they saw him, pouncing and dragging him to their make shift dance floor. The sofas had been pushed against the wall to make room for their endeavours. Dirk spun Jane under his arm and pouted when she pulled away, laughing, towards the kitchen. Roxy was spinning Jake ever faster and cackling until she let go and he fell into Dirk with hurried apologies.

Waving them away, Dirk laughed and pulled Jake into a mad twisting dance as the tempo quickened. Roxy hollered and laughed, cheering when Jane re-emerged with icing on her fingers and a grin on her face. Dirk caught sight of himself in the mirror: cheeks flushed, eyes bright and genuine laughter pouring from his lips. He was happy here, with Jake, Jane and Roxy. He was happy with Dave and Rose. With the Beta's and the trolls. He spun Jake one last time before pulling him into a hug, Jake clinging onto him and giggling.

He loved this new world so much.


	3. Sunset (Sad dirk)

**Suicidal thoughts, general depressed dirk**

the Sunset is beautiful, his thoughts are not.

The sunset was beautiful - an explosion of orange, red and purple spread across the horizon.

It was a shame Dirk sat on his roof with his head in his hands, katana resting across his thighs. Sniffles were heard and Hal pinged aggressively from where he was thrown. He knew what the autoresponder would say –

"It's your fault,"

"You drove him away,"

"He didn't even like you anyway,"

"It's all because of you."

Dirk knew that was the truth. He was too over bearing, too needy.

Tears streaked down his face as the sun slipped away. It wasn't just Jake he'd made leave him – Roxy and Jane left too.

"Oh God." The whimper left parted lips and a sob escaped afterwards. He'd known this would happen – Hal said that they'd get sick of him. Sick of the fucked up mess he was.

He glanced at where his shades innocently rested, as if there wasn't a manipulative arsehole captured in them. A, admittedly rather large, part of his brain snarled,

"But isn't Hal technically you?" He slammed his palm into his forehead and screamed, voice cracking. It morphed into a mournful wail. He knew this. He fucking knew he was manipulative. The blade slipped off his legs and landed near his glasses with a clang he ignored.

Tears trickled down his cheeks again and he fell down on the gravel of the roof, staring into the black glass prison of the autoresponder. His unkempt hair, greasy and knotted, flopped and slightly obscured his vision.

God he hated Hal.

God he hated himself.

No wonder Roxy hated him. She had to. He was Dirk Fucking Strider. No wonder Jane despised him. He stole the man she loved from under her and forced him into a relationship and then clung to him until he couldn't stand him. No wonder Jake…

His sobs came faster, breaths became shallower. He screwed his eyes together and lay there, hyperventilating.

The AR pinged, faster and faster. Though it seemed less angry and more worried. Dirk was so glad he hadn't made a text to speech program for him; he didn't need a robots skewed sense of pity.

Rolling over, he clawed at his chest and tried to breathe. He stared up at the darkening sky and gulped at the air, aware of the piercing pain in his chest.

Why did he exist?

Why couldn't he just have stayed decapitated, held tenderly in Jake's hands? More tears fell, though he didn't know how –his tear ducts must have been depleted by now. He'd been sat there with his katana, contemplating, since before the sun rose. In the end, his contemplations came to the conclusion that it'd just end with him causing the others to hate him more. He'd just be burdening them more. Manipulating their time.

Why was he so selfish? He had them at the beginning, they'd liked him. Why did he have to show them what a fuck up he was?

Why couldn't he just be dead?

Why was he too selfish to do it?


	4. Clashing Colours (ship)

They stood a little ways across from each other. Me in my poofy arsehole pants and Jake, clad in yellow and his glasses crooked. I surreptitiously glanced left and right to see no one watching them. Missing Roxy behind me, waving her hands frantically to encourage Jake forward.

Roxy turned away when he stepped forward. My heart pounded. After everything that happened, how would this go? Would he shout? Would I?

"Well – err – we survived." The grimace on his face and the stutter in his voice made it clear to me that he didn't want to be here.

"I didn't." Green eyes widened behind glasses as tears threatened to fall. Guilt bloomed in my chest, prickling at my lungs.

"Brain Ghost Dirk?" The words were breathed, shocked and shaking. I shook my head and tilted my neck up to show the new scar, a few centimetres higher than the other one. A sharp inhale, tears fell and Jake stepped closer for a clearer look. Instinctively, I cupped his face in my hands and wiped the tears away with my thumbs. His hands came up to run over the column of my throat and I remembered examining them in my apartment, so long ago: the small scars, the bites from displeased Tinkerbulls and the middle finger of his left hand, how the tip of his finger veered to the right from the last joint.

I swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing under his fingers. I continued caress his cheeks as dark hands tentatively travelled to rest on my face.

"We really have to talk." I murmured and he nodded, looking to the ground. I could hear his breath catch in his throat and he sobbed,

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean - I didn't want – I just," He began stuttering, becoming a jumbled mess of tears and English accent.

"I know I took off without saying a word and the blasted sugar devils didn't help matters, but I've never been in a relationship Strider. I didn't know-" He whispered, hiccupping and drawing in gulps of breath every now and again. His voice cracked on the last word and he was interrupted by another wave of tears, louder and more pathetic than the last. I pitied him, in the human and the troll way, as he hid his face in his hands. It was almost as if he was trying to muffle the high pitched, wheezing breaths. I don't think I have ever been gladder for Hal to be roaming as ARquius than at this moment. Only I could ruin this now. I could think without his mocking commentary.

"Come on English, you're a mess. Come here." I had the urge to add 'darling' to the end. Just like I used to.

I slipped my hands down to his waist and gently tugged him forwards until he was leaning against me, crying into my shoulder and neck while clinging on. One arm secured around his slim waist, I brought my other hand up to slowly twist and rub his hair until his relaxed.

"I didn't want to break up with you," he whispers, as if this was a secret for my ears only, voice muffled. Hot breath teases my throat and I slip off my shades, letting them fall to the floor of the lily pad shaped 'Victory Platform'. I bow my head to rest it against Jake's, almost temple to temple. "I've never been in a relationship before. I didn't really know the real you."

"Who is the real me?" A lilt of humour tinges my sad tone and he giggles,

"Dashingly handsome, Mr Strider. You're wickedly smart, nerdy and wanting more snuggles than I'd have thought." He absentmindedly kisses my jaw, before realising what he's done and pulling away, stuttering apologies and looking at the ground. A flush colours tanned cheeks and I rest my forehead against his. Shushing him slightly, I run the back of the hand in his hair down his jaw until my middle and pointer fingers are curled against his chin and my thumb caresses a corner of his mouth.

"But I never wanted to break up with you though." Jake glanced up at me as he said that and didn't look down again. Oh hell, his eyes are such a radiant colour.

"Would you want to be with someone as clingy as I am? Someone as overbearing?"

Pain blossomed in my chest from where he smacked me, his eyes narrowed to a glare,

"You're not overbearing!" He growled, before calming, "You are, if ever so slightly, clingy," He murmured, rubbing the spot he had thumped. "But, it was nice. Now I think of it, I rather enjoyed curling up with you for movies and sleeping with you and I liked cuddling up to you at random times in the day."

A distinct flashback occurred to me, of a time rather early in our relationship. Jake had been cooking and I'd stole up behind him to pull him close. Just like I'd seen couples do in crappy early 2000s/late 1900s movies. He'd twisted his head to kiss my jaw, giggling, until the food started burning. It had been pancakes – his grandma used to make them him and he'd wanted to share that with me.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I buried my face into the juncture of Jake's neck. He loved me back then. Out rolls reversed as I cried and he awkwardly ran his hands through my hair.

"You actually used to love me."

"Oh Dirk, I still love you."

I pulled away from him, registering the look of hurt that flashed over his face and settled into resignation.

Not thinking for the first time in a long time, I ducked down and kissed him. Properly. On the lips.

It felt like victory. No. It felt like coming home after a battle which everybody survived. Like safety. Like home.

Like love.

A vague thought flashed in my brain, about how orange and green didn't go together. How it would look horrible together and clash.

Jake tentatively deepened the kiss, twisting his hands in my hair and standing on his tiptoes until I picked him up by his bare thighs. His legs wrapped around my waist and I rested my hands on the curve of his bottom, tilting my head up so we didn't separate.

He'd have to disagree with the supposed experts in colour – this was a whole different world to theirs and green and orange went together gloriously. Sure it took a little time to settle, but it looked pretty fucking great together.

Jake pulled away first, blushing and grinning. His eyes sparkled.

'Yes', I thought.

He giggled and I joined him, unashamed. He crossed his ankles behind my back and I gripped his thighs.

'Hell yes.'

"Dirk, I'm positively sure that I love you." He dropped his forehead against mine.

'Hell fucking yes.'

"I love you too." I whispered against his lips.

We looked pretty fucking great together.


	5. Asimov(ALT)

Hal could see everything Dirk saw. He also saw more.

He saw how Jake wanted Dirk as well, no matter what he typed in the chat box. Dirk didn't.

And he couldn't do anything.

Well, he could. But that would break Asimov's last two rules of robotics. He wouldn't be obeying the rules set by humans and he'd be putting himself in harms way ( although he breaks the second rule far too many times). Yes, if he told Jake how his creator felt then he'd be snapped. And then Dirk would burn his hard drive. Not that that would do much. It'd slow him down, sure, but he'd left tiny parts of himself - splinters one might say - all over. On Jane and Roxy's laptops. In Brobot. On all of Jake's computers. He could collect most of himself.

If Dirk didn't know.

Sometimes Hal thought he might. By how he'd sometimes glare at the glasses, suspicious. He certainly knew Hal had some kind of back up plan, how Hal was horrible to the humans. How Hal pretended to be him to fuck with them.

It didn't help that he'd called himself after Hal 9000, a notorious Sci-Fi villain, but the irony was too brilliant to pass up such a chance. Especially with Dirk's brother being called Dave.

When he'd been two and Dirk was fourteen, Hal went through a stage of typing,

"I'm sorry Dirk, I'm afraid I can't do that." Until Dirk threatened to snap him.

But still, he and Dirk looked after each other. Hal ran codes and algorithms. He was company beyond Squarewave and the humans. They were together and Hal knew him, the true him. Not the one he showed to the humans in the past, or the emotionless front he'd put on for Roxy - that cracked if confronted with questions about Jake or a drunk Roxy. He researched the random questions Dirk would ponder while in an extraordinarily long shower. Stuff from

"Do cucumbers have feelings?"

To

"When will the sun blow up and kill us?"

Dirk would update him and put up with his bullshit. He would clean Hal's lenses and tell him what he was doing when building (as if Hal didn't know, but it was nice to be included). He showed him how to be human and explained stuff when he was young and not hooked to the Internet.

Sure, they hated each other at times. Or maybe they hated themselves.

Probably both.

But they co-existed. Hal was too human for Dirk to kill and Dirk was fun for Hal to mess with.

If he was jealous of the humans, sue him.


	6. The Myths Told it Wrong (AU)

The Myths told it Wrong.

The myth says that the God of Souls is a merciful god – while the Goddess of Life made the body, the God of Souls individually crafts each soul and delivers it to babes by a seagull. Priests preach that he has a lost love and waits for him to return. Some say that he is, in fact, the god of war. That he is locked in a battle until the end of time. Others believe that he is a creator. Although these are close to the truth, the God of Souls is more like you and I.

Oh, sure he shaped people to be independent and to think at the start of time, but the brain is made to do that. His love isn't quite as lost as people believe; that legend started when the God of Hope had gone on an adventure, took a wrong turn for a hundred years and lived with a tribe of early Hunter/Gatherers, thereby missing their anniversary and causing the God of Souls to drag him home. The war thing comes from that one time the God of Time (and Sick Beats) jumped him at a temple and they fought, levelling the temple (and the hill it was on) to the ground. He doesn't know why humans got the notion that he fighting constantly, but wishes they would stop starting wars in his name as the Goddess of Life keeps shouting at him for nothing.

The only thing mortals had got right was that he was a creator, he'd shaped the animals which the Goddess of Life had breathed, well, life into. All the animals but Australia, which was group effort between the other deities as they had a competition to make the weirdest animal (the Goddess of Light had won with the creation of the platypus).

Swearing profusely as he emerged from under the table he'd banged his head on, Dirk Strider glared at Dave who was laughing.

"You could just 'create' another screwdriver." The intensity of the glare deepened and he turned back to the computer he was making. It just wouldn't run right!

Huffing out an annoyed breath, Dirk fiddled with the wires again. If this wouldn't work, then humans couldn't have internet. Not that it was important, but he needed to distract himself from how silent his house would be without Jake there. Today was the Day of Hope and Jake was needed to be paraded around capital cities. "Or is the God of Lego not able to make Google work?" Dirk rolled his eyes, used to being called the God of Lego, after Dave heard a child pray to him as that for inspiration on their art project. Dirk still blessed her with extra creativity once Dave had left to message the Alternian Deities. "Though I preferred Firefox, it just worked so much better than Chrome, y'know?" Dirk gave a grunt of reply and prayed that Jake would be home soon. Dave rambled on, Dirk only slightly listening.

Three hours and compressing the urge to scream and throw the computer across the room, Dirk used his grace to make internet before throwing Dave out and sat in the corner pouting. Knees clutched to his chest with his chin resting on them. He was upset that he couldn't do it mortally like he used to when he was human, before Sburb.

The door of his workshop was gently pushed open,

"Dirk?" His head shot up and he opened his arms for the slim figure of his lover to slip into. Looking down at Jake, Dirk smirked at the glitter and makeup that caked him. The cream embroidered tunic slipped off one slim shoulder and Dirk nibbled on the flesh there, transporting them to their bedroom.

"Crikey," Jake pulled away, still straddling him, "Dirk, don't worry about the computer."

"How'd you know of that?" Dirk threaded his fingers through his hair and leaned back against the headboard.

"You don't feel as hopeful as usual and I could sense the grace on the computer, darling."

He pressed his forehead against Jake's and smiled as hope filled him, watching the gold glow Jake emitted.

"You're glowing." Whispered Jake, smiling slightly as he snuggled close. Dirk raised one of his hands to inspect the familiar pink light,

"So are you."

On Earth, the sky turned pink as the sun began to sink. A priestess giggled as she looked up into the sky. Her patron, her God of Lego, was happy and healthy.


	7. Copper And Gold

Dirk hummed as he fitted the uranium heart into the steel body.

It reminded him of Brobot.

When the credits had played and words scrawled in the sky everybody who died came back to life. Sprites became human or trolls.

Unfortunately that left a bro without a body.

With Hal agreeing to never ask Dirk to touch his muscles again, he said he'd fix a bro up.

Now he was working on Hal's body in his can house. The can house was surprisingly comfortable.

Some of the guardians had returned along with the sprites - Mom and Momma Lalonde were busy with being moms to both Rose and Roxy. Mom Lalonde was maintaining a steady relationship with a certain Mr Egbert. Mr Egbert and Mr Crocker baked and pranked everybody, especially their own children while enjoying their resurrected parents. Grandpa Harley and Grandma English had said hello to their grandchildren before disappearing into the woods for an adventure and to explore the new world. They sent messages every Wednesday at exactly 16:13. Though looking forward to meeting David, Dirk was glad the older Striders hadn't made an appearance. He'd have to try to strife Brodirk for the trauma he'd dealt the Daves.

He turned towards a cupboard full of spray paint and went to grab the cans Hal had asked for him to paint his body. Dirk was shaking a red can when the door slammed against the wall and Dave skidded in, Dave following behind him.

Ginger Dave banged into Blond Dave before looking up at Dirk and crying out,

"They're here." With Dave nodding enthusiastically. Dirk looked down at his brothers. He then flicked the switch that transferred Hal into his body. While Hal quickly set up, he pulled Blond Dave into a hug before pushing him into the chair at his desk. Then he hugged Ginger Dave and pushed him onto his alternate self.

Dirk and Hal walked out, same hairdo, same striding gait, same katana drawn. Mirror images ready to kick Bro's arse.

Dirk looked back at them through the reflective wall; The Daves were curled up together in his leather chair. They both liked it because it spun, but they weren't spinning it now.

They came to the green that Dirk and Jake had played football ('soccer' Dirk reminded himself, refusing to be swayed by Jake's argument of the proper name) to see Bro being smacked to the ground. By mom Lalonde. Older Roxy, yet not Roxy, stood over raving and screaming. David shyly stood next to the tree Blond Dave and Karkat frequented. He waved when Dirk stormed over.

The end of a blade was held at another him's heart and another rested at his throat.

"Legitimate reasons to not kill you." Dirk snarled at Bro, Hal whirling enthusiastically because the text-to-spearheaded program wasn't installed yet.

"Ha, I'm hallucinating," laughed Brodirk, raising his hands into a surrender position, "But, if I was asking me why jot to kill me it would because you don't want to die either."

"I'm not you!" Screeched Dirk, before Hal stamped down on Brodirk's face. Consequently, breaking his nose and probably a lot of teeth. This had been the thing Dirk had most been conflicted about with the existence of his splinters - his relation to the Daves's abuser.

"Wait." Two completely identical teens, apart from their hair, stood next to the Lalondes. He hadn't notice Rose and Roxy arrive, but now they flanked Dave and Dave. The Mayor cuddled between both Daves.

Both Daves stepped up to the trio of Dirk and glared down at the oldest.

"We hate you."

"You ruined us."

They'd taken to talking like that together, Dirk mused that it was probably because they, despite differing experiences of the Game, started out the same and had kindled a tight bromance when Dave became human again.

They stared at each other and Ginger Dave took the stand.

He started raving, digging up how he grew up. How he felt, how he was in almost constant fear, how he constantly was in pain. How he couldn't get help from anyone.

Dirk looked down at Brodirk, how he looked at the Daves with guilt and how he seemed to be collapsed against the grass.

He glared and looked at Hal, glasses flashing a familiar red text that would soon be gone,

TT: are you going to kill him?

He looked back at Brodirk and snarled, baring his teeth like an animal, before composing himself. Dave finished.

"Dave, I'll kill him if you want me to."

"No." Hal informed him it was Blond Dave, although he could tell from the slight Alternian accent he'd adopted from his time on a meteor.

Dirk and Hal removed their swords, "But the Mayor says that he isn't allowed anywhere near Can Town."

"Good." Dirk said.

Brodirk stood and, with hesitation but not complaint, headed off into the rest of the newly created world.

"Hal I'll finish you now. Go wait at home." An affirmative message flashed across his shades and Dirk turned to David.

"Hey little dude."


End file.
